Francesca Battistelli - Angel By Your Side

My new normal...

I am reading a new book. A New Kind of Normal by Carol Kent. As I was doing some shopping therapy, ( I hate to admit that this is my chosen method of re-focusing my thoughts.) I came across this book in my local discount store. I couldn't believe that, as I was reading the jacket...I was reading a summery of the life I am currently living. As I am searching for a new normal in my own life...I am curious to see what Kent, as a Christian author, has to say.

This book is for those of us whose life has not gone exactly to our plan or expectations. As I am sitting here sifting through my mental list of friends. I am not sure who this book would not apply to. Have you had a job loss? a failed marriage? a scary medical diagnosis? a loss of a relative? Anything that you would consider a major event in your life that has changed your journey's course forever? Sometimes even the "good" things in our life can take us on an unexpected turn. Has your journey been affected by a new job? an unexpected pregnancy? finding a long lost friend? All of these things change the reality that we once called "normal".

Kent quotes one of my all time favorite writers - Ken Gire. (He wrote Intimate Moments with the Savior, Learning to Love...which I have read over and over.) Ken says, "When suffering shatters the carefully kept vase that is our lives, God stoops to pick up the pieces. But he doesn't put them back together as a restoration project patterned after our former selves. Instead, he sifts through the rubble and selects some of the shards as raw material for another project - a mosaic that tells the story of redemption."

Kent says this leads to a new kind of living - "harder, but better in some ways, than before. Maddening because we hate the process but richer because of the pain."

This gives me such hope and anticipation for the work that God is doing in our family. I am not just eager to see the end result, (for I believe that won't come until we see Christ face to face.) but rather, excited to be in the process. Embracing this new journey that will tell the wonderful story of God's redemption.

I will continue to blog about the book as I work my way through it.

January news

Things are going right along here. Bekah was approved for Medicaid right before Christmas. We are trying to get some old bills submitted for payment. They are supposed to cover things that happened while we were in the application process. Her eye surgery would fall into that time period.

Of course, we are having a hard time getting in touch with our case worker from Medicaid. Chris called and left a message and she never called back. He called the next two days and her voice mail was actually turned off. We just want a few answers about how to use the card and what it applies toward.

We were also able to get on the schedule with the speech therapist. There is only one who works with Babies Can't Wait for our county. She also works with children with feeding issues and that is what she will be helping Bekah with. They don't sign children up for speech therapy until they are 2 years old. So Bekah will already be in with this girl for that! Glad for that! The only problem here is that it will add another payment on every week.

We have had some confusing information about the therapy and the medicaid. Some people have told us that medicaid covers everything from now on and some say that it only covers specific things. One of the therapists told us that since Rebekah has insurance and we haven't used the therapy money from our insurance yet (the therapists aren't in our Blue Cross network) that Medicaid won't pay until the insurance money is used up...so confusing. She said that some parents actually take their kids off of the insurance so that medicaid will cover everything.

I wish this wasn't all such a guessing game.

We were able to get a handicapped parking permit for Bekah this week. This will help so much! She has some strong sensitivity issues to wind. She will choke and gag with any wind in her face. She still does not hold on while you are carrying her and with her 19+ pounds she is getting to be a little to heavy to lug around. Also we have lots of "stuffing" to carry every time we go anywhere with her. She still has to be packed in to sit in any cart or highchair so there are blankets, toys, and chair covers that we have to carry with her. Include a diaper bag and it is almost impossible for me to go anywhere alone with her...not to mention making sure the big sister doesn't get run over in the parking lot! =)

Rebekah has been working on weight shifting which will help with sitting and standing. With lots of support she can take a few steps. She has been reaching a lot better too. She has an opinion and makes hers known even though she has said any words yet. Her smiles steal my heart every day and I LOVE to hold her after she falls asleep. So sweet!

We are starting our search for what God has in store for Kayla next year with school. Kayla has been in Christian preschool since she was two and has really enjoyed it. She will graduate in mid-May and will start Kindergarten in the Fall. I still remember Miss Bitzer my Kindergarten teacher. (I also remember Joey Litzleman - he was SOOO cute!) Please pray that we can find the right spot for her next year.

PT Mondays

We have Bekah's PT at 9:30 every Monday. It is the hardest thing to get up and get going for. I have to have the house in a somewhat presentable state. We, most likely, have been up through the night so I just want to SLEEP. I usually have to wake Rebekah up which makes her cry. I have to give her breakfast before therapy and hope she doesn't spit it up all over Mrs. Lydia.

On days like this, though, it is well worth getting up! Rebekah did a great job tolerating the handling. Lydia actually stayed overtime and Rebekah only fussed a little bit once. She sat up with assistance and is working hard on her balance in her pelvis. She is wobbly in her hips so it is hard for her to know how far to shift her weight.

She still WILL NOT crawl. Lydia was helping get her legs moving, but Bekah just laid her head down on the floor and dragged it across the blanket. =(

She took a few steps with Lydia today. Her legs are her strongest part and she does well bearing weight there. She still steps one foot in front of the other but may learn eventually to keep her legs apart. So exciting! Lydia wants me to practice this with her every time we head to the table to eat.

I am so thankful for all of Bekah's helpers. We have OT on Friday so we will see what happens on that front!

Rebekah Update 1/2/10

Rebekah is changing every day! How amazing to watch God's hand move.

First, I want to thank all of you who are praying for us faithfully. God is so good to us! We are, in fact, getting a little bit more sleep lately (because we are letting Bekah sleep with us). Something we said we would never do, but buckled due to exhaustion.

I heard that Bekah is the new little favorite angel of a certain Sunday School class in Florida. Hello to all of you and we are so thankful for your prayers and encouragement!

Rebekah is now 15 months old and has a smile that will light up a room. She is still diligently working in physical and occupational therapy. We have had a couple weeks off from both during the holidays but are ready to start back to our schedule. We will also be adding another occupational therapist who will be working with Bekah once a week on feeding. She will move to speech once the feeding is under control.

We had a swallow study done in December and found out tat because of Bekah's low tone in her mouth and throat that she was aspirating food every time she ate runny foods. Since she is still on baby foods and milk - - the aspiration was frequent. We were very scared that they were going to put Rebekah on a feeding tube, but were pleasantly surprised when the doctor told us that we could thicken her food and take care of the problem! We go back in April for a check up with him.

We have also seen the eye doctor in December. Her eyes are both working although working independently of one another. It is strange to see her looking at you and then change eyes all of the sudden. =) They still cross every once in a while and the doctor said that he would feel comfortable doing the surgery again. We go in April for another check up and will wait till then to make any decisions on the surgery.

Some big news is that Rebekah was approved for Medicaid. This will be a huge help to us financially. Her therapy alone was coming to $240 a month. This cost and more will now be covered by Medicaid! Praise the Lord!

We got to spend a terrific time in NJ for Thanksgiving and in SC for Christmas. We are glad to be back home and looking forward to what will happen in 2010.

Much love to you and yours!

Fearless Giving

Our pastor has been teaching about being fearless. This week he talked about being fearless in our giving. Even in this economy we can completely trust in our Father that owns the cattle on a thousand hills! He defines generosity as being open-handed. Since we don't own any of it anyway...being open handed with God's resources is what He wants.

At the end of the service, Pastor asked us to bring to the stage a generous gift that would bless someone else. There were two large bins on each side of the stage. He asked us to pray about it and to be generous. He then said that after every one was done giving, who ever needed financial assistance could come down to the stage and take whatever amount of money they needed out of the bins.

Chris and I sit toward the front of the auditorium and then endless stream of people giving money and blank checks overwhelmed us. It was hard to even get out into the aisle to make it up front. I was crying! People came to give for about five minutes. Then it was time for people to come get the help they needed. Pastor had to urge people because pride was holding lots of them back. Then it happened...people started cheering and clapping. Couples came, single moms came, young people came. People were crying, others were helping those around them who didn't have the strength to come down by themselves. It was a beautiful picture of the church working together as the Lord has laid out in scripture to help those who are hurting.

Last night at Journey Group we heard a first hand account of a lady who received $650 - - the amount that her ex-husband was previously paying in child support but has been neglecting to do so.

God is amazing and has a specific plan for us and for the finances He has given us to manage.

The Pumpkin Prayer

Lord, open my mind so I can learn new things about You.

Remove the things in my life that don't please You.

Forgive the wrong things I do and help me to forgive others.

Open my eyes to see the beauty You have made in the world around me.

I'm sorry for the times I have turned my nose up at the good food You provide.

Let everything I say please You.

Lord, help me show Your light to others through the things I do.

Amen